Educational Post: Surviving Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is the attempt by one person to control another person by psychological methods as opposed to physical violence.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Examples of emotional abuse are demeaning and belittling another person, questioning their faithfulness, and threatening to harm oneself if the other person does not comply with the will of the abuser.

Emotional abuse is not just limited to intimate relationships. It can be found in the workplace, and at school, and in social situations. Any situation in which one person can seek to establish an improper degree of control over another person can be a situation in which there is emotional abuse.


What Happens To Survivors of Emotional Abuse?

Persons who suffer emotional abuse may suffer problems of low self-esteem. They are more likely to report eating disorders. They may become withdrawn. They may doubt their ability to obtain better treatment in a properly supportive relationship.

Surviving emotional abuse takes self-awareness and self-respect. The first step is not denying the existence of the emotional abuse. It is real and can affect your quality of life. Anyone can rationalize away abusive behavior, but it ought to be confronted.

~Christopher Andrew Balsz~

Surviving Emotional Abuse

The next step is to recognize that the survivor is not the problem. The abuser is deliberately using abuse to attempt to control the behavior of the person in the relationship.


whereas the survivor, often ends up covering the abuser’s own poor social skills. You are not to blame for this, and deserves so much better.


A survivor of emotional abuse should evaluate the relationship and whether it is better to sever the relationship altogether.

This will depend on the circumstances of the abuse. Take the workplace as an example, it is hard to avoid the abuser all together and you might be in a situation where you don’t know where to go. One thing to do is to try to distance yourself as much as possible, and not go into a direct conflict with the abuser but rather set firm boundaries and strictly communicate about work-related business. Write down all instances abuse occurs, in that way you can silently build up a case. The abuse might think they are superior but the truth is, you are being smart about the situation. Using the abusers’ inability to behave properly against him/her. It is possible to report the abuser whereas he/she can be made to leave. Otherwise, the survivor may have to sever ties with the abuser and end the relationship altogether. The key is to educate yourself on the subject on how to deal with an abuser. You can read a bit about it here

If you will not sever the relationship with the abuser, in a social or workplace setting, it is important to confront the abuser directly and firmly with appropriate boundaries for their behavior. It is important not to suffer the abuse because you wish to avoid being difficult. You are entitled to respect and dignity and the absence of abuse. The key, on the other hand, is how to approach the abuser. It is easy to get triggered, it is what they want. Don’t allow them that control. But take the time to read and find a plan for how to deal with the situation. Don’t feel bad for setting boundaries, it is your right to decided what is ok and not ok.

It may be helpful to seek professional guidance and counseling as to how to proceed in your exact situation. Again, you are not the problem, and you are entitled to stand up for yourself. A professional can provide situational advice that is relevant and useful to your circumstances.

Find a healthy relationship, in that we mean someone you can trust and take advice from. It may be necessary to sever the relationship with the abuser and find a workplace,

pexels-photo-722939romantic or social setting where you are treated with dignity and respect.  It is important to remember that fact and act on it. Move forward from your abusive situation into a lifestyle full of respect and caring relationships. Nothing is worth being scrutinised for. In a work relationship if you are afraid of the financial situation to try the tips stated above, while looking for a new job at the side, use that new outlet as a positive reinforcement being able to stay calm.

What If I See Emotional Abuse Happening to Someone Else?

If you witness someone else being the subject of emotional abuse, you have a powerful opportunity to become a support to them in their hour of crisis. Your caring and respect can help check the damage to self-respect and tendency to isolate that emotional abuse can create. It’s important to recognize your own limits, however, and perhaps the best thing you can do for your friend and yourself is recommend strongly that they seek professional guidance and counseling regarding their abusive situation. You cannot replace professional help and will find it very taxing to be asked to fill that role.

Now that you’re aware of emotional abuse and some ways to counter it, let’s get motivated to act on our self-awareness of our own objective value and promise!

You Are Beautiful

Christopher Andrew Balsz Jr
PLQ Motivator

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