JustCallMeLolli- A Survivor Blog: Impact and Aftermath of Emotional Abuse


2175508440_7e0f6dbb99_b.jpgPhoto credit: fusion-of-horizons on VisualHunt / CC BY


“She’s probably a soccer mom, who is very tired and the only thing she wants is peace and quiet.” “Man, he sure looks overworked. I hope he gets to play with his kids once he gets home from work.” “That girl needs a jacket. She’s obviously freezing to death.”

If I weren’t so creative, I would’ve probably studied Sociology. Studying people is quite interesting to me. The more in contact you are with people, the more you start developing these internal stories about them.


Snow Angels of The Heart

Sometimes behavior patterns can help people make assumptions, but it doesn’t mean all of them are accurate. If you find yourself placing blame on situations and places, it’s actually a red flag. There are snow angels in your heart which exposes the evidence of past rejections and residue of bad situations.

When you examine your heart, can you see the snow angels of fear, anger, brokenness, and rebellion? The snow angels are the evidence of the seeds that person deposited in you. It’s time to wipe the snow away, clear the path, and keep walking. (Not like Johnny Walker by the way.)

15807012402_04efe63c67_c.jpgPhoto credit: archer10 (Dennis) 116M Views on VisualHunt / CC BY-SA


Walls can be good or a bad thing. In the case of the image above, walls are necessary because it serves as protection. However, when walls are used to block people out that’s where you will find your emotions stagnant. A person’s emotions are associated with the time the abuse occurred.  This is why most abusers act like children because their emotions stayed at the 5-year rank once they were abused. Is this ringing any bells? One of the things that I’ve been working on myself is maturing in love. It is hard but necessary. When you decide beforehand who is going to bypass and who you are going to befriend, it shows your inability to love people. Love does not mean to be involved in someone else’s life all the time. Love is patient and kind and it doesn’t boast. It’s been less than ideal for me, but if I do want to marry someday, be a mother, and be a good friend, I must immediately unfriend and block bitterness. Committing yourself to inner vows such as: “I’ll never trust again” is cruel and unfair, not only for yourself but to people around you that have no fault of what they did to you. Sure you will be more careful, but don’t close yourself. Do not follow the lousy example the abuser gave: to stay stagnant in emotions and in love. I challenge you to pay the order of the person behind you next time you are at a fast food drive-thru. Just tell the cashier: “Hey can you also charge me for the car behind me?” That’ll make someone’s day. And who knows, maybe the person behind you was abused. Spread the love, my friend.

friend-pair-hug.jpgPhoto on Visualhunt.com

Shame…Of You!

Yes! You read that correctly! Shame of you! Forever! I image shame as a heinous bitter cold snowstorm. The more you make your way to your destination, the more frostbites and weak your body will encounter. My friend, one of the biggest problems that emotional abuse brings is the feeling of shame. The feeling of shame for opening up and being vulnerable about your struggles is as deadly as poison. Silence is shame’s best friend.

However, when you start reaching out and talking to a counselor about what happened you will find so much liberation. There’s so much healing in letting out your emotions.

There’s so much freedom in crying and let it flow. There is so much relief in knowing you are not alone. Before jumping into another relationship…

You thought I was going to forget that part right?

Survivors have this tendency…Before you make that mistake, take your time and heal. By entering a new relationship all you will find is more shame, because you will feel pressured if you make this person your path in order to heal. So anywhere you are in life, I declare shame off you right now!!

Go live a whole and healthy life.!


And remember you…you are beautiful!

Loren Ruiz

PLQ Survivor and Ambassador

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