Just Call Me Lolli – Good Relationships

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Good Relationships

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5 Love Languages

A while back I discovered the ‘five love languages’ phenomena. I felt quite out of place due to my lack of awareness. “What a funny thing” I thought. My curiosity outran my ignorance, so I looked it up online. Turns out it’s actually a well known book. Not only that, but it also has a website. Furthermore, you can indulge yourself in an interesting study of your own personality by taking several quizzes. The most popular one is obviously discovering your love language, but more than that it provides an apology language quiz. The second one may be very useful for married couples. Just saying! I don’t want to give everything away when it comes to this resource. However, I do want to point out that by taking this quiz, it won’t make you a better person magically. It’s just a means to understand yourself a little bit better. The results may or may not be accurate. I would say to just go for it.  Click the link below.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

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Impact

There’s several misconceptions that I want to address when it comes to relationships. mInd you, I am no relationship expert or a matchmaker. However, I found extremely misleading some ideologies that pop culture profess. The first one is this phrase: “You complete me.” To imply that another person completes you equals a bad business transaction. Don’t judge me! I see business and marketing in everything. After all that’s my major. If another person completes you, it is therefore inferred that someone is full but the other party is empty. It’s like putting gas in your car. The “pump” station will still have gasoline for the next customer. It will not become empty just because you put some in your car. I find this too stressful. People make mistakes and they are not perfect! To put all of your hopes, dreams, expectations, emotional stability, and future in one person is not wise. If you make a person your god, you will be disappointed. Another misconception is this: “My other half.”  You see it’s not about finding the “one”, it’s about becoming the one. Two single individuals who are whole will have better results when they come together. Another person cannot make you whole. Because if they did, they would be perfect. When it comes to relationships it’s not about what they can give to you, it’s about what you can give. It’s about impacting others in the best way possible, while growing at the same time.

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Ask before Assuming

I am not married! However, you don’t have to be married to understand the human dysfunction. We all mess up. But we also put ourselves through unnecessary pain, just because we are too prideful to confront the other person with our questions or concerns. People are not mind readers, therefore if you are experiencing an unmet expectation, it could be that you never expressed your expectation in the first place. Instead of assuming what others are thinking, studying you, or even treating you, wouldn’t it be better to get all doubts out of your head? Hard conversations are the best, because they help you understand people. Maybe it will help you tremendously to sit down with your spouse, friend, or partner and address your hurts and other things that you haven’t been talking about. You know, sometimes people hurt us and they are not even aware that they did. We hold a terrible vendetta against those who may be uninformed of their own actions. If you ask before assuming, then your relationships will become stronger and better. Sometimes people act out because they have been stressed or are going through things.
And remember…you are beautiful!

Loren Ruiz

PLQ Survivor and Ambassador

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